Archive for the ‘ Inside Scoop ’ Category

The Entirely Arbitrary but Painfully Obvious Life Lessons of Film

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Here at Popcornography we feel it is important to teach. Often cinematic wisdom goes unnoticed or overlooked and it makes me sad.

With that said, Popcornography introduces its latest and most enlightening category – The Entirely Arbitrary but Painfully Obvious Life Lessons of Film. It is thus, with great pleasure, that Popcornography presents 15 lessons that may have been overlooked when watching some of these classic  films. I made a list. I love lists. Ahem;

1. Blair Witch Project

Don’t forget the tissues when you go camping. Nobody likes Mr Sniffles. Especially when taking distressed selfies with a camcorder.

blair-witch-project-portable

2. Lion King

Always be wary of creepy and disfigured relatives.

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3. Brokeback Mountain

Always be wary of your husband’s “fishing” buddies.

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4. Beauty and the Beast

Rose maintenance can be difficult. Try soil and water.

Beauty and the Beast Rose

5. Lord of the Rings Trilogy

Be wary of EXTENDED director’s cuts.  It will feel like YOU are taking the ring to Mordor.

Lord of the Rings demented

6. Dark Knight

If you want to be taken seriously, remember to enunciate. Muzzled villains repeat after me; “How now brown cow”.

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For the full Dark Knight Rises review, click HERE

7. Star Wars

Never be afraid of over-the-top hats. Fabulous.

AMIDALA

8. Scream

When indulging in flirtatious phone calls with strangers, remember to lock all doors. Drew forgot.

Scream

9. Twilight

Why are you even going to Kristen Stewart movies? Stop that.

10. Inception

This spinning top does not validate your intelligence. Does it fall? Does it continue spinning? No one cares.

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11. Kill Bill

It’s rude to interrupt weddings. There will be consequences.

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For the review of Kill Bill: Vol 1, click HERE

12. Se7en

Sometimes postal service will let you down. Chin up!

Brad_Pitt_Seven

For the full review of se7en, click HERE

13. Dirty Dancing

Avoid painful/unnecessary surgeries. Jennifer Grey learnt this the hard way. Nose jobs put Baby in the corner.

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14. Bridget Jone’s Diary

Never be caught in THAT pair of underwear.

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15. Titanic

Never trust old people with your valuables.

Valuable

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Popcornography’s love affair with Gigham

So finally, after weeks of flirting and drunken texting, Popcornography and Gigham are lovers. Gigham for those of you who don’t know, is the SUPER awesome events listing website. Gigham lists all events in Cape Town and Johannesburg and is a beyond convenient way to find out what and where events are happening around you!

Often I find myself invited to things that I have never heard of and consequently need details asap. Thank heavens that Gigham is able to provide such details in a sexy and sleek interface that is sure to excite any visitor. The beauty of Gigham is that its listings comprise of events of all categories. As much as Popcornography needs to know about sexy film events happening in and around Cape Town, sometimes one wants to know just what the eff kind of trance party your friends keep inviting you too. Thanks to Gigham, you can now be an empowered life enthusiast.

Popcornography has been monitoring film events in this way for quite some time. For instance, I know that the African Cinema Unit is presenting tomorrow evening on UCT’s upper campus. I shan’t be going. But surely you can understand why this is so handy?

Are you searching for new and exciting things to do with your life? Are you bored with the regular and routine activities? Are you craving spontaneity and excitement? We at Popcornography are. Luckily there is an answer and y’all now know who to thank- Gigham.

Let us sum up why Popcornography has been crushing on Gigham for some time by means of a simple demonstration. Ahem…

Life before Gigham: Kristen drowning in an ever-consuming vacuum of boredom

Life with Gigham: Anna Faris overwhelmed with bliss and merriment

Get the picture? Popcornography is excited for its relationship to thrive with Gigham. You should be too.

About the Author

Welcome to POPCORNOGRAPHY – the film critique and review blog

Growing up in the small town of Dundee in Northern Kwa-Zulu Natal, there was never much to do as a teenager. As a result many turned to the art of cow tipping and binge drinking while others turned to the art of film. As I turned to the latter, and occasionally the former, the idea for Popcornography began to blossom.

Popcornography will pay tribute to my personal filmic personality developed during those dark days of Dundee-dom. Currently I am a marketing intern for a South African based film production company. Thus if you find yourself yearning for an inside look into the South African film landscape as well as local projects and news, Popcornography may just be for you.

For blockbuster buzz, inside news, movie previews and reviews, as well as tributes to the classics check in regularly. It may be crass and, admittedly, uncouth at times. More often than not it will be risqué. However, if you crave an informative and fresh take on film locally and abroad do not miss out on Popcornography. Or do. Whatever.

Popcornography by definition is to be selfish with ones popcorn whilst moaning in pleasure to make others jealous (Urban Dictionary). Embrace the guilty pleasure, satisfy the urge and follow Popcornography. Because there is no business like show business but most of all because:

nobody puts Browning in the corner

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