Here at Popcornography we feel it is important to teach. Often cinematic wisdom goes unnoticed or overlooked and it makes me sad.
With that said, Popcornography introduces its latest and most enlightening category – The Entirely Arbitrary but Painfully Obvious Life Lessons of Film. It is thus, with great pleasure, that Popcornography presents 15 lessons that may have been overlooked when watching some of these classic films. I made a list. I love lists. Ahem;
1. Blair Witch Project
Don’t forget the tissues when you go camping. Nobody likes Mr Sniffles. Especially when taking distressed selfies with a camcorder.
2. Lion King
Always be wary of creepy and disfigured relatives.
3. Brokeback Mountain
Always be wary of your husband’s “fishing” buddies.
4. Beauty and the Beast
Rose maintenance can be difficult. Try soil and water.
5. Lord of the Rings Trilogy
Be wary of EXTENDED director’s cuts. It will feel like YOU are taking the ring to Mordor.
6. Dark Knight
If you want to be taken seriously, remember to enunciate. Muzzled villains repeat after me; “How now brown cow”.
For the full Dark Knight Rises review, click HERE
7. Star Wars
Never be afraid of over-the-top hats. Fabulous.
When indulging in flirtatious phone calls with strangers, remember to lock all doors. Drew forgot.
Why are you even going to Kristen Stewart movies? Stop that.
This spinning top does not validate your intelligence. Does it fall? Does it continue spinning? No one cares.
11. Kill Bill
It’s rude to interrupt weddings. There will be consequences.
For the review of Kill Bill: Vol 1, click HERE
Sometimes postal service will let you down. Chin up!
For the full review of se7en, click HERE
13. Dirty Dancing
Avoid painful/unnecessary surgeries. Jennifer Grey learnt this the hard way. Nose jobs put Baby in the corner.
14. Bridget Jone’s Diary
Never be caught in THAT pair of underwear.
Never trust old people with your valuables.